Welcoming

Elizabeth Magarey

Being part of Cana Communities has been a formative part of my life, the life of my husband, Michael O’Brien, and of our shared life together. We worked at Teresa House, the Garden Shelter and De Porres House during our 20s and 30s, both separately and side by side, and the experiences of those years affected us both profoundly. It is a cliché but I honestly feel that I gained more from Cana Communities than I gave. Today, many shared Cana memories are part of our family “lingo”, just a couple of which I will touch on here.

Teresa House was my first experience of Cana and after spending a few nights there I was a convert. I loved arriving and opening the door in the evening to welcome everyone just like a family home. We’d cook dinner together based on what we could find in the fridge and cupboards–sometimes with very interesting results. One such time was when we left the meal preparation to one of the men who wasn’t a regular, and ended up with ‘pasta sauce’ made out of marmalade, cucumbers and an unforgettable combination of various sauces from the fridge! The nights at Teresa House certainly weren’t always harmonious, but conflict was outweighed by acceptance, tolerance and the desire for a good night’s sleep.

When the attention of either my husband or I appears to be drifting when we are in conversation, the other can snap it back with the pertinent question “Are you there?” This phrase is my favourite of Michael Gilbert’s, of de Porres House (see photo on page ??), for the way he used it to slice through pretence and absent-minded head-nodding in order to demand that one’s full attention be entirely devoted to the present moment.

The time I spent at De Porres House reinforced to me the great value of sharing simple attentive moments with people, not necessarily with any particular agenda, but motivated by ‘just being’. It empowered me to feel that simply being myself and sharing whatever time I could amongst the community was a contribution that was important and valued.

 I was a regular visitor to De Porres when I was pregnant and have lovely memories of sharing the excitement of my ever-growing tummy with the community. In particular I remember how excited Rachel was about the anticipated arrival of our baby. She gave me a life-size wombat soft toy to give to him when he was born. He is now four years old and doesn’t know Rachel or really understand where the toy came from, but I see the wombat as a lovely material connection to the time he unknowingly spent at De Porres in my belly.

Since having our son and moving away from Sydney, we haven’t spent much time with the community. But the Cana spirit daily informs our relationship with each other and with the people we interact with in all aspects of our lives. Our son is learning to play Ludo, and how to listen attentively to others and to always be aware of their feelings. As he grows up we hope he is comfortable in being himself wherever he is, and that he makes everyone he meets feel comfortable too.