An inner strength
Frank Burrows
Frank Burrows is a member of the Eastworks prison mentoring group.
An edited version of this story is in the book.
I first met my friend (as I call those we mentor) inside prison. I was his first visitor in the 12 years since he was sentenced. Soon after this first visit I was joined by another member of our Group and for most of the time we have worked together.
As with other prisoners our friend dreamed of life after release. He had lived and worked in the country for many years and wanted to return. He expected government housing and this seemed assured. Except when he left the prison it wasn’t. There was nowhere for him in government housing in the country and little available in the city.
Not that it was needed. Cana Communities promised my friend a comfortable room on his release and two mentors to be his friends. He took a while to settle into Cana Communities. He was a person who would prefer to enter a community by his own choice. In Cana, he had it thrust upon him. Nevertheless, he eventually settled down and was industrious with the general housework and keeping things shipshape. It was in his nature to be clean, tidy and well organized and his ‘Cana Period’ enabled him overcome habits he had learned in prison.
On one occasion he bought an expensive appliance which he discovered was faulty. His instant reaction was to throw it out. I suggested we take it back to the vendor and replace it. He was extremely reluctant to do this for a variety of reasons; it was too much trouble for him; it was too much trouble for the vendor; he wouldn’t know what to say; maybe he’d lose it and so on. After much talk, and accompanied by me, we eventually took the offending article back. I opened the conversation telling the assistant the story and asking for a replacement, adding maybe one like this would do, pointing to another similar article. I turned to my friend and he whispered he would prefer something else. As we looked around my friend got more and more confident and I gradually slipped into the background.
As it happens, my friend’s Cana period came to a precipitous end. Parole then found and paid for temporary accommodation at some cost and finally found my friend a room in a lodging house. His new room–seedy to say the least–was self-contained with limited cooking facilities. Importantly, he could resume an uninterrupted private life of his choice. He kept very much to himself but developed a circle of acquaintances and started a hobby which kept him engrossed during the day and still does.
Whilst at the lodging house my friend’s health deteriorated markedly. There was a reoccurrence of cancer which was declared terminal and inoperable. Another blow to contend with. He reacted to this remarkably well. He is now in a nursing home under palliative care but is almost as vigorous as when I first met him. There is an inner strength of character of an ‘old fashioned kind’: a respect for others that is far from common. There are contradictions but these reflect the imperfections to be recognized and dealt with in his journey. He is a good man who made some bad choices in which circumstances played an important part.
I struggle to come to terms with the role Cana played in his life. Perhaps more thought should be given to how well each individual will cope with the Cana Community approach. Our friend accepts punishment for his offences but is still angered by those offences of which he considers he was unjustly accused.
I was once described as “ornery”. With my friend’s example, I understand that I must have courage to seek my own understanding of life’s mystery. I try to look more deeply into people (and myself) and extract true humanity from the surrounding mix of images.