Ceremonies of the Street

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Challenges “We Can Do It”

Bernie Breen

Bernie has other stories in the book.

I walked into Cana in Albion St at 10am on my very first day and stepped out of my comfort zone, all in one stride, not sure what I was putting myself into. My very first hug on that morning came from (Christine/John). Brian Stoney, came down the stairs, and greeted me. He handed me a frozen leg of something that looked like ham but I wasn’t sure and told me “we have lunch after prayer.”

I thought I had a few hours to prepare lunch – a nice veggie soup with the frozen bone of meat to add flavour will go down well. The house was starting to fill up: Johnno, Owen, Shane, Rhonda, Di – I couldn’t remember all their names. Back to lunch. I looked around to find ingredients for my soup – found nothing. Panic hit.

Brian said half an hour till lunch. “Is he for real”, I thought. I’m standing there in the kitchen looking at this frozen thing on the table. I turned to Johnno and said “what do you think?” We decided to make toasted sandwiches with the ham leg. I went into prayer, Johnno stood guard over the toast. I forgot about lunch for a moment, and marvelled on how everyone hugged and gave thanks in prayer, it was a very touching moment for me.

I smelt burned toast. Thanks to Johnno, Di and many others who came to help the new girl, it was the worst and best toasted sandwiches I’ve ever had. I realised at the end of the day that the ingredients I needed to make lunch, when panic subsided, were in front of me all along.

Brian asked me if I was coming back next week. My head was saying “Don’t do it, girl”. My heart was saying “I have just experienced true unconditional love” and I did come back the following week, and for the next 14 years.

Our Cana experience

The Hope Family

An edited version of this story is in the book.

We signed on to do volunteer work with Cana Communities in March 2012. We felt it would be a meaningful and purposeful way for our children to meet the Community Service obligations required by their schools, and we wanted something that took them outside their comfort zones. As parents, we would accompany them, but it was really about the children giving of themselves and hopefully getting something out of it besides a few hours in their Service Diaries.

On our visit to De Porres on 9th March, we met Harold (*name changed) a 38-year-old refugee who has only been in the country a few months, after spending a gruelling period traversing Asia to finally arrive at his unknown destination, Australia. His journey here was the typical refugee story: fleeing persecution in his home land, he paid money to ‘a guy’ in return for his passage out of Iran to an unknown safe country. When he arrived in Indonesia, he thought this was where the journey ended, only to be told he had one more leg, to Australia. He knew no one, didn’t speak the language, came on his own, and was alone. What he endured in detention is unknown to us. He is teaching himself English by reading children’s books and so communication was manageable, but still challenging.

It took Harold a little while to warm to us at first. We ate together, along with the two other residents, David and Steve, John and Peter and continued to be fascinated and appalled at what Harold had endured. By the end of the evening, we were laughing together, debating politics and planning ways to make a better life for Harold in his new haven. We’ve managed to source a laptop for him that may enable him to connect with the refugee community in Sydney, and a lunch at a local Middle Asian restaurant has been planned, to give Harold something to look forward to and a much needed taste of home (although my husband is pretty excited also).

Most people’s idea of the refugee situation is limited to biased and politically motivated media accounts – faceless masses in a political tug-of-war. Meeting Haroldhas given at least one member of this faceless mass a name and a story, and there are many more. Overall our Cana experience has been enriching, challenging and highly valuable, more so than we imagined when we thought we’d simply be there to support our children. It has taken us all well outside our comfort zones, and has inspired us to do more.

My New Family

Meilian Deng

An edited version of this story is in the book.

I came to Australia on 26 October 2012 to start anew.  When I arrived in Sydney, at that time, my body, mind and psyche had been so hurt, that I wouldn’t look after myself.  However I was lucky, I got alot of help from many government departments.  At that time, I especially asked Australian Red Cross for help.  They helped me to find a place to live.  They quickly found my present dwelling, which was Nagle House.

I remember that day was 15 November 2012.  A Red Cross worker assisted me to get there.  Two of the leaders, Lorraine and Jo met us enthusiastically and help me.  I also met a kind lady Sister Anne, other volunteers and housemates, who were all very friendly.  I felt a warmth I hadn’t felt for a very long time.  Nagle House was good for me.  I had gained a new family.

This family of mine has many brothers and sisters.  Most of them came from different countries, so we are a big international family.  We will have dinner together every week.  We also celebrate special days.  Last year, my family held a Christmas party at Redfern Park.  All the people got together and experienced the excellent atmosphere.  We also prepared to say hello to the New Year!  We had a holiday in January.  We went to the Saint Ignatius College on Australia day weekend.  We played various games and did some sports with the students.  We felt young again.  Last weekend was Easter holiday, my family went camping at a farm.  We held a traditional Catholic ceremony for Easter Day.  We also had a band to accompany when we sang hymns.  What a great and harmonious group we were!  Then we played some games.  For example, table tennis and pool.  A volunteer brought the badminton gear for me.  I could play my favourite sport here.  So I played badminton with some people and we enjoyed ourselves very much.  We are an active, happy family indeed.

In this family, volunteers take care of me very well.  They look after my life as well as my mental health.  They always talk to me and help me to improve my English.  I remember that we had dinner together one day and somebody asked me, “Did you make a new friend in your class?” I said sadly, “No, I didn’t, because my classmates all have family in Australia.  They will leave the classroom at once for home when we finish the class.  It is only me who does not have any family.”  Another volunteer, Kevin said, “ Who said you haven’t got family members?” “We are all your family.”  When I heard that, I was very moved.  They indeed are.  Last week, Kevin’s wife invited me to visit their house and led me to walk along the Sydney coast.  I enjoyed myself a lot there, because I did exercises and experienced a wonderful view with this lady.  They more important thing was she helps me a lot.  She is like my mother, how Fantastic!  Another volunteer Maria told me, I must come to Melbourne to visit her.  She will be very happy!  One more volunteer asked me to drink coffee when I finish my class.  So I am living with a family which is full of love.

Every family needs to be emotionally close.  My family members care and cherish each other.  We celebrate everyone’s birthday.  We made a Birthday card and wrote beautiful wishes, sent some special presents and sang the birthday song, then we had the birthday cake together.  Last month on Good Friday, my family had a very special thing.  At that night, we helped each other to wash feet.  In this thing, it could convey the amazing love and made us still closer.  What a splendid family!

This is my family, I love it!  It is an important part of my life.  Wherever I go, it will always be in my life.

Welcoming

Elizabeth Magarey

Being part of Cana Communities has been a formative part of my life, the life of my husband, Michael O’Brien, and of our shared life together. We worked at Teresa House, the Garden Shelter and De Porres House during our 20s and 30s, both separately and side by side, and the experiences of those years affected us both profoundly. It is a cliché but I honestly feel that I gained more from Cana Communities than I gave. Today, many shared Cana memories are part of our family “lingo”, just a couple of which I will touch on here.

Teresa House was my first experience of Cana and after spending a few nights there I was a convert. I loved arriving and opening the door in the evening to welcome everyone just like a family home. We’d cook dinner together based on what we could find in the fridge and cupboards–sometimes with very interesting results. One such time was when we left the meal preparation to one of the men who wasn’t a regular, and ended up with ‘pasta sauce’ made out of marmalade, cucumbers and an unforgettable combination of various sauces from the fridge! The nights at Teresa House certainly weren’t always harmonious, but conflict was outweighed by acceptance, tolerance and the desire for a good night’s sleep.

When the attention of either my husband or I appears to be drifting when we are in conversation, the other can snap it back with the pertinent question “Are you there?” This phrase is my favourite of Michael Gilbert’s, of de Porres House (see photo on page ??), for the way he used it to slice through pretence and absent-minded head-nodding in order to demand that one’s full attention be entirely devoted to the present moment.

The time I spent at De Porres House reinforced to me the great value of sharing simple attentive moments with people, not necessarily with any particular agenda, but motivated by ‘just being’. It empowered me to feel that simply being myself and sharing whatever time I could amongst the community was a contribution that was important and valued.

 I was a regular visitor to De Porres when I was pregnant and have lovely memories of sharing the excitement of my ever-growing tummy with the community. In particular I remember how excited Rachel was about the anticipated arrival of our baby. She gave me a life-size wombat soft toy to give to him when he was born. He is now four years old and doesn’t know Rachel or really understand where the toy came from, but I see the wombat as a lovely material connection to the time he unknowingly spent at De Porres in my belly.

Since having our son and moving away from Sydney, we haven’t spent much time with the community. But the Cana spirit daily informs our relationship with each other and with the people we interact with in all aspects of our lives. Our son is learning to play Ludo, and how to listen attentively to others and to always be aware of their feelings. As he grows up we hope he is comfortable in being himself wherever he is, and that he makes everyone he meets feel comfortable too.

The Gift of Friendship

Carmel Vowles

Cana, through the gift of friendship and walking with another, midst the turmoil and unknown, brings us to a place more than often we dared not venture.

One day, during my first weeks at Mudgee, I was walking down the street and noticed an elderly man sitting at a bus stop. I sat and chatted with him and he said he was going to be 70 in a few weeks. I asked if he was going to share his special day with anyone, and he said no one had ever celebrated his birthday. So I asked him if he would like to come to a cafe he liked and if there was anyone else he would like to invite and could we celebrate his birthday with him. He looked surprised and agreed.

Later that day I said ‘Hi’ to Jill in the Natural Health shop where Martin came each pay day. Jill called out to me. Martin had come to her, asking very suspiciously “Who is this woman and why would she want to celebrate my birthday?”

On his birthday a few of us gathered and had a wonderful celebratory lunch. He was much moved and it was wonderful to see him enjoy his special day. His sparkling eyes and beautiful smile said it all. Martin had lived under the bridge for 30 years and he was well known in the town. We would often meet after this.

I remember the first time I spoke in the Mudgee church to speak about Cana and introduce ourselves. Michael Gilbert was staying for a few days and Anne suggested I get him to speak. I asked her how to go about this and she suggested I ask him a few questions about what Cana meant for him and to talk about his daughter Mary-Anne who had just been born. We were about to get up and Michael’s legs which were moving constantly since the beginning of mass were now audibly louder and faster and he just wanted to bolt outside for a cigarette. I told him I was as nervous as he was and now we were ON. I was about to ask Michael his opening question and off he went with his story unaided by any need for prompts. He received the loudest and longest clap and of course he was brimming with pride. It was sheer joy to see him in that total space of celebratory love.